


Nope, This Isn't Twilight

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Bookworm!Aranea, F/F, F/M, M/M, they write cute things together, vampire!Porrim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1957965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We find ourselves in the middle of a cheesy supernatural romance plot where the vampire seduces the bookworm, but of course neither one plays their part like they're supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Least Scary Vampire in the History of Vampires

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Panny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panny/gifts).



Chapter 1 - The Least Scary Vampire in the History of Vampires

It’s weird growing up _dead_. Well, for a long time, I never found it to be weird. My parents are dead, my grandparents are dead, my whole family is dead. That’s because we’re _vampires_. No, we don’t sparkle in the sun or burst into flames. We’re actually just like normal humans, except for the fact we live forever and don’t age past twenty-five. The whole blood-sucking thing is a myth, most of us don’t even bother trying to get human blood anymore. Especially when you can get organic buffalo blood from Whole Foods for five ninety-nine a gallon (which is the _best_ kind, if you’re wondering).

Anyway, I go to Beforan High School, which a public school in my home town of Bethesda, Maryland. I used to go to a private, all supernatural, middle school, but my family wanted me to learn how to blend in with humans. I liked the idea from the get go (though, my younger sister _hated_ the idea), as I’m a really sociable person. I’m also just starting junior year with my best friend, Kankari Vantas. He’s half Iele from his mother’s side. An Iele is like a Romainian nymph, or that’s how Kankari puts it. We’ve been best friends since freshman year, and we still are now. I don’t have many other friends, but there’s this one girl…

“Earth to Porrim, _earth to Porrim_!” Kankari’s voice knocks me out of my reminisce. “Don’t tell me you spaced out again? It’s been happening more recently. Are you sure you’re okay? This could be caused by _an acute_ …”

“ _Kankari_ ,” I cut him off, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Kanakri always loves to talk on and on and on, which is a trait most people find annoying. I actually like listening to most of the stuff he talks about. Except when he’s talking about Tumblr or my love life. I stab my fork into a piece of lettuce and crunch down on it. I actually am really into salad. And vegan food. And peircings. And tattoos.

“Anyway, hows _you-know-who_?” He smirks as I choke on my water. “You haven’t been talking about her that much. Did you two break up already?”

“We weren’t even dating,” I huff, “Besides, Damara was nothing but a nice fuck. Her personality is beyond annoying. She couldn’t get a real…”

“I heard she’s dating Peixes,”

“That fucking _bitch_!” I swear, stabbing my fork into the salad tray. Surprisingly, Kankari doesn’t give me a hard time about using curses.

“Porrim,” He puts his hands on my shoulders, “I know you like to pretend you don’t care about anyone you date or bed, but it’s fine to miss someone. You don’t have to keep it in.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I say, not feeling much better. “What about your love life, Kankari?” I smirk. “Find someone that’s not going to coerce you into sex?”

He frowns, before taking a sip of soymilk. “No, actually. Though, there is this guy I like…”

“Who? Who?” I perk up.

“If you tell anyone, I swear I’m leaking those photo’s of you at Kurloz’s party.” I nod, and he leans in to whisper. “ _Cronus Ampora_.”

I feel like I’m almost going to burst out laughing, but I hold it in. “You do realize he’s _essentially_ the school’s male _prostitute_?”  

He hit’s me on the shoulder. Hard. “I know, _I know_ ,” He groans, “He recently transferred into my A.P Lit class. He’s really nice to me, and always offers to proofread my papers. I feel sick just even thinking about it.” His head falls onto the cafeteria table, and tries to turtle into his red, oversized sweater. “You don’t think I’m crazy… do you?”

I laugh a little. “Naw, honey.” I pat his head, as he comes out of his sweater shell. “It’s a normal feeling, unless you’re a _soulless_ vampire like someone here,” He murmurs something I can’t hear, but I pat his head anyway. “I gotta head to creative writing, seeya in History.” He grumbles goodbye, as I get up to throw away my salad. I quickly push my bangs in front of my eyes, to try and keep up a mysterious appearance. Kankari calls these my ‘I want to look like loner, yet I want chicks to fall head over heels for me’ bangs. Of course it’s an absurdly long name.

My creative writing class is pretty small. It’s me, a few seniors I don’t know, a freshman named Aradia, and my long standing crush, Aranea Serket. Aranea was the girl I was going to mention before Kankari interrupted my train of thought. Her hair is naturally a golden blonde, and has been cut in a bob since the dawn of time. She loves to wear adorable ‘70’s style clothing, including this one blue polka-dot dress that I really like. It has a peter pan collar and a bright red sash around the waist. It’s my favourite outfit that she ever wears. I feel like it would be really fun to dress her up. Though, we met freshman year, I made a total fool out of myself, and I haven’t really talked with her since.

I walk into my classroom, and of course, Aranea just has to be there. I should know better, as she’s always early for class. She’s madly typing something on her computer, and my curiosity gets the better of me. I tiptoe behind her desk, and look over her shoulder. I try reading a bit of her work, but before I can get too far into it, she slams her laptop screen shut.

 

“What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” She looks up at me with her eye’s peeking out from her red glasses’ frames.

“Reading?” I answer, faltering with my speech. She frowns at me, obviously not liking my response to her.

She sighs loudly. “Why are you even here? Don’t you have a class to get to?”

“Uh…” I laugh a bit, “This is my class.”

The second she hears my reply, she blushes madly and looks away from me. “W-w-well… uh…” She seems flustered for a second, but then calms down pretty quick. “Sorry about that. I don’t really like people reading my work,”

“So you don’t even use a proofreader? That’s gotta be tough. I can get you one if you want, Kankari is a pretty good…”

“ _No_. It’s fine. I don’t need one.”

I laugh at her naivety. “You _need_ a proofreader, _dummy_. Every author has one. I can proofread stuff, if you want. I’m not as good as other’s, but I’m better than have no proofreader.”

She turns away from me, pissed off. “ _Fine_ ,” She huffs. “You can proofread my crap. Meet me at the library on friday at four thirty-five, after school. You can read it then.”

I nod, and the rest of the class comes filtering in. I move to my usual seat, across from her. During class, I feel a pair of eyes staring at me. I decide to leave it be, mainly because I have work to do. I also have a date with my crush. Though, I guess it’s more work related, but I’m happy anyway. I can’t seem to stop smiling for the rest of the day.

* * *

 

__

_“The new school library is so big, I can’t seem to find anything,” I murmur to myself, lost in the sea of books. It’s my second week of high school, and I’m already in trouble. I need to find a book on Arab economics for my world history class, but I can’t find the book I want. I checked where it was supposed to be, but it wasn’t there. I sighed in frustration, angry I had spent close to an hour looking for nothing. As I was scanning books, I ran into something cold and hard._

__

_“Shit,” I cursed, and I heard someone laugh at my misery. I looked at what I had bumped into, and it turned out to be a bookshelf. Just my luck. I looked for the person laughing at me, and saw a girl in a 70’s style red dress._

__

_“Need help?” She asked me, as I stared for a bit. She was very cute. “You’ve been looking for over an hour.”_

__

_“I just need to find a study on Arab economics, I’ll be fine,” I brush past her, but she grabs my hand forcefully._

__

_“You mean this study?” She asks as I whip around. It turns out she had been reading it the entire time. She put it in my hands._

__

_“Don’t you need it?”_

__

_“Nope, I’m already done.” She blatantly stated before walking deeper into the sea of books. I flipped through the study, it was close to a thousand pages long. How could she have read this in an hour? I decided I liked her, but I hadn’t seen her in any of my classes. Maybe she was older? I hope she isn’t a senior…_

* * *

  
I wondered if she remembered me from then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so much fun to write, I've decided to make multiple chapters! I wrote this for Panny for the Rare Pair Fest. I ended up picking something I didn't even offer, but the prompt intrigued me so I went for it. I've currently planned 10 chapters, which will eventually all come out. I've only written a few so far, so bear with me (because I am a dork).


	2. A Pirate is Trying to Kill Me

The rest of the week goes by so slowly, I feel like friday is three years away. Anyway, it’s Thursday, and Kankari went out for lunch, so I’m stuck in the cafeteria alone. The only good part about this is I can have a coffee in history. So, I’m sitting alone, stabbing my salad, when someone I know all too well walks up to me.

 

“Yo, motherglubber, you’re coming with me,” It’s Peixes. Anyone can hear those smelly fish puns from a mile away. Peixes has always really irked me. Maybe it’s the fact she’s the star swimmer of the girl’s swim team. Maybe it’s how her retro-punk style fits her almost too well. Though, it’s probably the fact she stole my girlfriend. Actually, we were just fuck buddies. We weren’t even dating. I think that irks me the most.

 

Anyway, she drags me by my wrist, clutching it really hard. Her long, wispy braids swish back and forth, almost hitting me in the face. Her pace is pretty fast, but I can keep up with it. She takes me toward the locker rooms, which I know is a prime place to beat kids up. “Hey, uh Peixes?”

 

“What?” She snarls, stopping abruptly and digging her nails into my wrist.

 

“You’re not gonna kill me, are you?” I ask, hesitantly. Peixes sighs, and let’s go of my wrist. Correction, she throws my wrist back at me. “Fuck, that hurt,”

 

“You have a date with Aranea, right?”

 

I’m caught off guard, and I start sputtering nonsense almost as soon as she finishes. “Uh… well… I’m just going to proofread her paper for class, it’s not really a date so…”

 

Peixes slams her fist into the wall. “Answer the motherglubbing question! What’s your porpoise hanging around her?”

 

“Uh… well…? I just wanna be a good student and help her o…” She slams me against the wall, her face less than an inch away from mine.

 

“I don’t know about your motives, but I know you’re the school slut. Aranea can’t handle a casual fuck like you and me, got it?”

 

“Uh… Peixes? I don’t even like her that way…” Shit. Me and my big mouth. If we ever start dating, I am screwed. So fucking screwed.

 

“I don’t care. If you hurt her, I break your face in? Got that?” I nod quickly, wanting her to go away. I am so freaked out. Once she seems satisfied with my answer, she leaves. I quickly whip my phone out, I need to text Kankari.

 

[Me] yo kankari, shit went down

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] ???

 

[Me] i just go+t a death threat fro+m peixes

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] Meenah? Why?

 

[Me] she to+ld me she heard about o+ur ‘date’ and if i break araneas heart, shes go+nna break my face

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] That’s great!

 

[Me] kankari, ho+w the FUCK is that great

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] It means that Aranea at least likes y9u a bit, right? Her 6est friend w9uldn’t threaten s9meone that didn’t have meaning.

 

[Me] OH SHIT. kankari yo+u are a genius!

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] I’ve been told.

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] Just g9 sl9w th9ugh. Remem6er, she’s n9t g9nna 6e an easy target. She’s g9t walls the size 9f t9wers. Just g9 the friends to l9vers r9ute.

 

[Me] duh, i’m not an idio+t

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] Y9u pr96a6ly w9uld 9f c9me 9n t99 str9ng if I didn’t remind y9u.

 

[Me] (^ - ^) true, actually. thanks. btw, hows it go+ing with cro+nus?

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] N9n-existent, thank y9u. I’m n9t g9ing t9 pursue him.

 

[Me] dude, seriously? yo+u need to+ get o+ut there.

 

[Me] but no+t like me. do+n’t have sex with half the scho+o+l.

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] N9t g9ing t9.

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] Anyway, gtg. I’m going t9 drive 6ack.

 

[Me] shit, kankari. yo+u used txting lingo+. i’m so+ pro+ud! ;)

 

[Kankari, The Best Friend] Shut up.

 

[Me] lo+ve yo+u to+o+ <3

 

I tuck away my phone, and I look around the hallway, making sure Pexies isn’t gonna come back and kill me or something. I’m so glad our meeting is tomorrow, so I can get over her, and fast. Her best friend scares the fuck out of me.

\---

 

It’s four-thirty, and I’m freaking out. I’ve been planted in the library since three o’clock, and texting Kankari non-stop isn’t really helping me out. Just breathe. All I have to do is read Aranea’s writing, circle some crap, and run away.

 

I see Aranea open up the glass double doors to the library, and she looks amazing. Her bob is pulled back into an adorable ponytail, and she’s wearing a floral lilac dress. I wave to her, trying to signal that I’ve got some seats, without being awkward. I guess I fail that last part, because Aranea furrows her brow when she walks over to me.

 

“Hey, so lemme see this bad boy,” I cough out, trying to sound like myself. I’m pretty sure Aranea has picked up on my awkwardness. She shakes her head, and pulls out some papers from her backpack.

 

“Here, the story I’m working on for class,” She hands them to me, and then starts up again. “Did Meenah say anything weird to you yesterday?”

 

“What?” I stutter, looking up from her paper. “No, Pexies didn’t do anything…” I quickly look back at her paper, trying not to arouse suspicion. I think I’ve failed my mission.

 

“O… kay?” She asks, though I know it’s a rhetorical question. “Anyway, so, do you have a proofreader?”

 

“Yeah. I usually have Kankari look over it. Why, you wanna read my current piece?” I look up at her, and she turns her eyes away from mine. How cute.

 

“Uh… sure…” She trails off, as I grab my papers.

 

“Kankari’s already written some edit’s on this copy, but feel free to add more or something,” I tell her, handing her my work. I decide to get back to reading, and look away from her.

We read in silence for around an hour, before handing each others work back.  Aranea looks down at her feet once we get up. “So… uh… do you wanna maybe…” She suddenly looks up and grabs my hands. “We should do this again. I had fun. No, really. Your work is really good and having someone to bounce off ideas will be really helpful. And don’t listen to Meenah, because I definitely do not have a crush on you, and I never watched you when you fell asleep in class…”

 

I start to laugh. Aranea seems to have this cool, calm, collected attitude, but deep, down under, she really is a flustered mess. In a cute way, not a weird way.

 

“Hey!” She smacks my arm. “Don’t laugh!”

 

“No, It’s cool. I’d love to hang again. And Pexies just told me not to be a dick,” Aranea blushes, because she may or may not have just admitted her crush on me. Which I still can’t believe.

 

“Oh… uh… well, see ya soon!” She waves goodbye, and then heads off. My phone buzzes.

 

[Unknown] don’t go fuckin around with araneas heart ya hear?

  
Shit. Meenah has my number. And she sounds like a pirate. She is going to kill me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who's partaken in RarePair '14. I've loved so many fics so far, and I hope you all enjoy this next chapter. I'm actually going to be in Iceland for the author reveal, so there won't be any chapters until after I get back. But anyway, enjoy the rest of the summer and the fest. Thanks!


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